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Success is the achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted. To be even more specific, it is being able to know what you want, having a plan of action to achieve it, and ideally, having all the resources that lead to it. 

For me, success is being able to do what I want, whenever I feel inspired, and surrounded by the people that I love. And in terms of values, success for me is peace of mind, joy, freedom of expression, love, wealth, and good health. 

Throughout my journey as an Afrikan transman in America, I have had one constant prayer, and that is to be guided to live with integrity (the quality of being undivided, whole, and complete); this way of life requires the courage to speak from a place of Truth even when things are uncomfortable. This realization led me to publish my first book in 2016. 

I have been in the business world for well over a decade now and an NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) Practitioner since 2015. In my Self-discovery as an entrepreneur and personal growth process as a man, I have made many mistakes along the way. And in this article, I want to share the 12 most important lessons that I have learned from them.

These are not dogmatic dos and don’ts but pragmatic learn-teach experiences that I have gathered. Take this as practical advice from a business coach to realize that success cannot be learned except by actually walking the walk despite the adverse circumstances that we often find ourselves in. 

To be successful you should first know yourself, then take the time to love yourself; after that, you can redefine what success is for you before you can actually claim it for yourself. Once you claim it from that place, you will realize that you are the sum of your values, beliefs, and habits. 

Here are the 12 practical lessons to remember for a successful life:

1. Separate Your Work Life From Your Personal Home, Family, and Love Life

A hand has 5 fingers. They are separate from each other but are interdependent. Each finger represents an element.

  • Thumb: Fire; your money life.
  • Index Finger: Air; your creative expression and intellect.
  • Middle Finger: Aether; your spiritual life.
  • Ring Finger: Earth; your wellness and personal home life.
  • Little Finger: Water; your relationships and emotional world. 

As an analogy, you are the entire hand, but you often operate in one separate finger at a time. Know where you are operating from at all times so that you can find harmony in every area of your life.

2. Make the Best Use of What You Have

Don’t take anything for granted, and be grateful for all the resources that are currently available to you. Don’t wait to have everything before you do anything. Do whatever you can with what you have now, and then grow or improve from there. 

Things that people often take for granted:

  • Time: We are all allocated 24 hours in a day; what you do with your time now will reflect in the life that you live 5 years from now.
  • Information: You know something that someone doesn’t know; make an inventory of your skills and your experience, and make the best use of them.
  • People: We often take other people for granted when we don’t see their worth or the value that they bring into our life. You can learn from everyone; so never look down on someone because you never know what door they might open for you down the road.
  • Tools: A phone, a computer, and a car are all tools that we often take for granted; they allow you to communicate, create and travel.
  • Money: If you live paycheck to paycheck, your situation isn’t going to miraculously change by not doing something different.

There are many ways that you can invest in yourself with what you have now. For example, if your goal is to be a podcaster, you can invest in a podcasting course (information), you can buy a new microphone for under $100 (tool), or you could invite a podcaster that you admire to lunch and ask them questions so that you can learn from them (people). 

Spend whatever you can now in ways that allow you to have more time in the future.

3. Work Diligently for the Things That Matter to You

  • Wherever you put the most of your attention is where you will get the most results. Prioritize your time, energy, and resources on what is important to you.
  • If you want to achieve something you never had, visualize it from the beginning to the end, create a plan of action, and then follow that plan until completion.
  • Whether in your work life or with your relationships, always put your best foot forward. Do something well or don’t bother doing it at all because everything that you do reflects on your character now, and on your future success.

4. Take Immediate Inspired Action

  • Whenever you feel inspired is the best time to act; ride that wave of inspiration as far as it can take you and then rest or perform other tasks. That way things are getting done on their own and you never have to “push” yourself to do anything. 
  • Get in the habit of being present with your ideas and be prepared to capture them as they are developing. If you can, write or record them on your phone in a place that you can easily access anytime. Never be tempted to postpone writing down a great idea.

5. Finish the Thought

Don’t leave too many projects unfinished just to jump into the next one too quickly. Get into the habit of finishing your ideas. It is perfectly fine to change your mind about something after you have more information; do not give up just because your mood changes. 

Whenever you can, work until completion; when it gets tough, take a break from the project but only for a short period of time, and then keep moving forward. The best way to stay motivated for a long period of time is to anticipate the next project or the reward that it will bring.

TIP: Whenever you are 90% done with a project, prepare the next one. Do up to 10% of that project, and then come back to complete the first one. That way, the next project is already 10% complete and you will look forward to it because you already know what to do next.

6. Don’t be a Fanatic

  • Although we are all on this planet to help each other evolve, don’t look for a hero to rescue you. Everyone is fighting their own battles and the more you take responsibility for your actions and results, the sooner you will be successful.

Be your own hero first so that you can be resourceful for the people that you are called to help. Seek help from the qualified people around you but don’t expect them to carry your weight.

  • Don’t ask for permission to be successful or seek validation from other people. Take your success into your own hands. Be willing to do the work whether they are around or not, and whether they approve or not.

7. Know Your Worth and Get Paid What You Deserve

Don’t settle for less. Not just in business but also in your personal, social, and love life. Those who see your value will pay the necessary cost to have you in your life.

8. Don’t be a Victim

Acknowledge (to yourself) everything (good or bad) that happens to you and avoid complaining as much as possible. Complaining often, even to yourself, will eventually result in a habitual pattern of negative thinking and self-sabotage.

And if you complain to others often, you will be perceived as a victim of your circumstances. Most people don’t care about our problems as much as we’d like to believe; in fact, some people enjoy that we have them because it makes their own problems appear smaller.

When things get rough, retreat for a bit if you need to, and then get back up. Ask for help (from people that you trust) whenever you really need it, and spend more time creating than you do criticizing yourself or others.

9. Protect Your Reputation and Your Public Image

We live in the ‘cancel culture’ where people are easily triggered by the things that they do not resonate with. Nothing is hidden under the Sun and with technology accessible by virtually everyone, the People’s perception of you is very important. 

It is much easier to choose to be a decent person at home and at work even when you don’t think that anyone is watching.

10. Don’t Give Too Much Too Soon

  • Don’t give people too much information too soon as to not overwhelm them. If you will be taking 10 steps, walk them up to 3 steps at a time and allow them to catch up before you take them further. This is an analogy not to withhold information from people but to allow them to grasp ideas at a decent pace. 
  • Don’t overpromise anything to anyone. When someone doesn’t expect anything and you give them everything, they will remember it forever.

11. Avoid Negative People

The people that you surround yourself with the most will determine who you will be and where you will be in the next 5 years. Avoid people who bring you (or your ideas) down and especially those who make you feel small.

12. Don’t Waste Time on Time Wasters

We teach people how we want to be treated by how much we tolerate from them. People who don’t respect their own time will drain yours too if you let them. Learn when and how to recognize when you’ve given them enough.

In conclusion, Life is what you make of it. Time is infinite and it is us that are finite. Make the best use of the time that is allocated to you by CHOOSING to live a successful life NOW.

May all Good things come to you and to your loved ones.

To your success,

Neo

At Startup Hive, we help creative entrepreneurs thrive beyond the gig economy by taking control of their financial life. If you consider yourself creative enough to get at least one of your ideas off the ground, we are here for it. 

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